Really interesting post Raj. I particularly thought your tales as a child were striking. As a white westerner, it’s easy for me to speak of freedom in a very loose way as it’s always assumed. I travel for work, and everywhere I go it’s never been a problem up to now. Freedom is for the privileged that’s for sure, and it’s easy to take for granted.
Thanks Gareth. I tried to keep the childhood tales to bare min. but yes that's the experience that feeds the emotion behind this writing. Yes, we cannot take it for granted here in the West.
"The shock value of these incidents always faded away as we returned to our restricted expat lives, oblivious to the various cases of assault and abuse kept hidden from public scrutiny."
You've hit the nail on the head of the simultaneous complexity and simplicity of expat life here, Raj. This is precisely why my Substack is called Oblivious Witness: I see things in the countries I live in that are shocking or interesting or thought-provoking, but I experience them at a slight remove while I float around in my expat bubble. Here in China I witnessed the day-to-day effects of the government's Covid Zero policy, read stories like that of the extraordinarily brave Man on the Bridge, marvelled at the courage of the people who stood on the banks of the Liangma River, just down the road from where I was putting my children in bed, and used pieces of white paper to protest against the constant lockdowns. I'm here while it's happening, and I wonder about the effect that it's all having on my children, but I know that this is a temporary situation for us so I don't feel it all in my bones. But yes, it's a fascinating lens through which to examine the fine and ever-changing line between freedom and safety.
Your comparison raises intriguing questions about the true cost of freedom. Striking the right balance between individual liberties and societal responsibilities is undoubtedly a complex task. The ongoing discussions and debates in the U.S. highlight the complexities associated with maintaining a society that values freedom while addressing the consequences that can arise from it. Ultimately, it's crucial for societies to continually assess and evolve their understanding of freedom, adapting to the needs and challenges of the times. Interesting insights into the multifaceted nature of freedom.
Raj, thanks for sharing this post with me. I lived very briefly in Saudi Arabia as a young child when my dad was transferred there as part of the Canadian team from a Bell Subsidiary (telecom). My experience was all about living in a small compound and going to british school (and for us, fortunately, getting to go to our Holy sites), but my dad, who had to work with the wider society, tells stories of major favoritism and treating the white folks he worked with perfectly, then Arabs second, and then South Asians last...
I was also in Dubai in October, visiting my sister and her family. It really is ridiculously luxurious and safe, but it's definitely not what I'm used to.
I'll add this thought. The US refers to itself as a beacon of freedom, and your essay juxtaposes freedom (the US) and safety (some of these gulf countries you've referred to) - I would argue simply that the US, and other western countries, isn't as free as you're saying. Recently, several people have been censured and lost their jobs in Canada for simply calling for a ceasefire in Gaza. The first Black dean at Harvard had to step down for very politicized reasons related to this as well. If you're interested, Joshua P. Hill on New Means has written extensively about this.
Anyway, I really did enjoy the read. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
Thanks Noha, it's been nice to read various experiences being shared in response to this post. It was the reason I wrote it, to showcase that "freedom" is a loaded word. What you said about the British school is exactly how it was with the American school near ARAMCO. They were treated with white gloves, we were not. "Compounds" - there is an article waiting on that subject alone.
Yes, Dubai is building on that narrative big time. I was surprised too.
I completely agree with you about the US, the land of the free. To a certain extent it is still where I can write this post and not be jailed for my thoughts. There is freedom of thought but that freedom when misused or misconstrued, can be deadly. I've been here for nearly 20 years (now a citizen) and I have never thought it unsafe until maybe since 8 years ago. Now there is a true concern of safety brewing across the US, in various communities, and is worrisome.
Thank you again for your thoughts. Means a lot when I get these thoughtful comments, and get to know my readers through these interactions.
In many ways, you are (naturally) looking for a freedom paradise wherein there exists none, especially for an immigrant, who will to some extent remain an outsider. My last post was on Pico Iyer’s The Half Known Life wherein he precisely questions the notion of a paradise, only to discover that true paradise is overall an internal feeling resting on hope and belief on life’s uncertainty. I’d say there is no perfect place (I too left India after the 1991 riots to find religious freedom in the US and lo and behold, 9/11 happened and the world of freedom is not the same--my post on “Pavwallah”), but true freedom is a state of mind. Freedom from any fear and staying in positivity and love, no matter what. I don’t mean to sound like a spiritual preacher, but honestly, I can only control myself at the end of the day. In that sense, it does not matter where I live even if I personally prefer shuttling between the East and West to get the best of both worlds:) And I’ll keep it real by saying it’d be hard to practice this in war-torn South Sudan, so to some extent place matters.
Agreed, paradise is a myth. Freedom is not guaranteed anywhere. The question I grapple with though is more about safety, and how in some parts of the world we have to trade freedom for security. I linked an article about Dubai women in the article, how they felt safe in Dubai roaming around the city after dark without fear. That was interesting for me because how many cities in the world can truly guarantee that level of safety for women. I'll link it here as well: https://www.khaleejtimes.com/uae/safety-at-night-in-dubai-women-express-thanks-to-the-city-for-feeling-of-security#google_vignette
Yes, war-torn South Sudan, or even Gaza for that matter, this topic is a non-starter.
Tough question and depends on your life, if you have kids, etc. My best friend worked in Dubai for years, and she had the same nuanced experience you paint—it was a supremely safe haven as a woman out and about even as she faced a glass ceiling for being a woman and an Indian non Muslim *at work.* I have a school going kid and worry about guns, a lot, in the US. In India, no worries about guns in schools but the political situation could become volatile easily ever so often. There are robberies, pickpockets, crimes here and there. Dubai, which we entertained for a while for a short move, is safe overall, but it felt so artificial to me as a city in the midst of a desert and I was worried we’d be bored. The US seems to me overall a safe place with good civic liberties, with the exception of guns in school. No perfect answer, always imperfectly perfect😊.
Well said. Those worries you pointed out in the US and India are spot on. I intentionally did not dive into the safety concerns in India, especially for women, because it is a loaded topic. Need to write about it someday. Yes, the artificiality of Dubai - so true - my wife and I are thinking about where we could move to be closer to our friends and family, maybe just for a short stint... but there are many aspects of Dubai including traffic that I am not too crazy about. Yup, imperfectly perfect is the life we lead. :-)
Thought provoking post Raj. Freedom grants power in the hands of citizens. Responsible usage of power is necessary. But human nature is unpredictable. Eg. Freedom to hold a gun does not equal freedom to fire it at anyone. Freedom of speech does not mean repeated personal demeaning insults. Hence, restrictions should be enforced but they must be reviewed periodically with changing times. In the same way, severity of punishments must also be assessed and catered to the degree of crime. A thief who steals food to fill his hunger is different from a stock market scamster who steals money to satisfy greed.
Really interesting post Raj. I particularly thought your tales as a child were striking. As a white westerner, it’s easy for me to speak of freedom in a very loose way as it’s always assumed. I travel for work, and everywhere I go it’s never been a problem up to now. Freedom is for the privileged that’s for sure, and it’s easy to take for granted.
Thanks Gareth. I tried to keep the childhood tales to bare min. but yes that's the experience that feeds the emotion behind this writing. Yes, we cannot take it for granted here in the West.
"The shock value of these incidents always faded away as we returned to our restricted expat lives, oblivious to the various cases of assault and abuse kept hidden from public scrutiny."
You've hit the nail on the head of the simultaneous complexity and simplicity of expat life here, Raj. This is precisely why my Substack is called Oblivious Witness: I see things in the countries I live in that are shocking or interesting or thought-provoking, but I experience them at a slight remove while I float around in my expat bubble. Here in China I witnessed the day-to-day effects of the government's Covid Zero policy, read stories like that of the extraordinarily brave Man on the Bridge, marvelled at the courage of the people who stood on the banks of the Liangma River, just down the road from where I was putting my children in bed, and used pieces of white paper to protest against the constant lockdowns. I'm here while it's happening, and I wonder about the effect that it's all having on my children, but I know that this is a temporary situation for us so I don't feel it all in my bones. But yes, it's a fascinating lens through which to examine the fine and ever-changing line between freedom and safety.
Thank you for this thought-provoking read.
Your comparison raises intriguing questions about the true cost of freedom. Striking the right balance between individual liberties and societal responsibilities is undoubtedly a complex task. The ongoing discussions and debates in the U.S. highlight the complexities associated with maintaining a society that values freedom while addressing the consequences that can arise from it. Ultimately, it's crucial for societies to continually assess and evolve their understanding of freedom, adapting to the needs and challenges of the times. Interesting insights into the multifaceted nature of freedom.
Raj, thanks for sharing this post with me. I lived very briefly in Saudi Arabia as a young child when my dad was transferred there as part of the Canadian team from a Bell Subsidiary (telecom). My experience was all about living in a small compound and going to british school (and for us, fortunately, getting to go to our Holy sites), but my dad, who had to work with the wider society, tells stories of major favoritism and treating the white folks he worked with perfectly, then Arabs second, and then South Asians last...
I was also in Dubai in October, visiting my sister and her family. It really is ridiculously luxurious and safe, but it's definitely not what I'm used to.
I'll add this thought. The US refers to itself as a beacon of freedom, and your essay juxtaposes freedom (the US) and safety (some of these gulf countries you've referred to) - I would argue simply that the US, and other western countries, isn't as free as you're saying. Recently, several people have been censured and lost their jobs in Canada for simply calling for a ceasefire in Gaza. The first Black dean at Harvard had to step down for very politicized reasons related to this as well. If you're interested, Joshua P. Hill on New Means has written extensively about this.
Anyway, I really did enjoy the read. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
Thanks Noha, it's been nice to read various experiences being shared in response to this post. It was the reason I wrote it, to showcase that "freedom" is a loaded word. What you said about the British school is exactly how it was with the American school near ARAMCO. They were treated with white gloves, we were not. "Compounds" - there is an article waiting on that subject alone.
Yes, Dubai is building on that narrative big time. I was surprised too.
I completely agree with you about the US, the land of the free. To a certain extent it is still where I can write this post and not be jailed for my thoughts. There is freedom of thought but that freedom when misused or misconstrued, can be deadly. I've been here for nearly 20 years (now a citizen) and I have never thought it unsafe until maybe since 8 years ago. Now there is a true concern of safety brewing across the US, in various communities, and is worrisome.
Thank you again for your thoughts. Means a lot when I get these thoughtful comments, and get to know my readers through these interactions.
In many ways, you are (naturally) looking for a freedom paradise wherein there exists none, especially for an immigrant, who will to some extent remain an outsider. My last post was on Pico Iyer’s The Half Known Life wherein he precisely questions the notion of a paradise, only to discover that true paradise is overall an internal feeling resting on hope and belief on life’s uncertainty. I’d say there is no perfect place (I too left India after the 1991 riots to find religious freedom in the US and lo and behold, 9/11 happened and the world of freedom is not the same--my post on “Pavwallah”), but true freedom is a state of mind. Freedom from any fear and staying in positivity and love, no matter what. I don’t mean to sound like a spiritual preacher, but honestly, I can only control myself at the end of the day. In that sense, it does not matter where I live even if I personally prefer shuttling between the East and West to get the best of both worlds:) And I’ll keep it real by saying it’d be hard to practice this in war-torn South Sudan, so to some extent place matters.
Agreed, paradise is a myth. Freedom is not guaranteed anywhere. The question I grapple with though is more about safety, and how in some parts of the world we have to trade freedom for security. I linked an article about Dubai women in the article, how they felt safe in Dubai roaming around the city after dark without fear. That was interesting for me because how many cities in the world can truly guarantee that level of safety for women. I'll link it here as well: https://www.khaleejtimes.com/uae/safety-at-night-in-dubai-women-express-thanks-to-the-city-for-feeling-of-security#google_vignette
Yes, war-torn South Sudan, or even Gaza for that matter, this topic is a non-starter.
Tough question and depends on your life, if you have kids, etc. My best friend worked in Dubai for years, and she had the same nuanced experience you paint—it was a supremely safe haven as a woman out and about even as she faced a glass ceiling for being a woman and an Indian non Muslim *at work.* I have a school going kid and worry about guns, a lot, in the US. In India, no worries about guns in schools but the political situation could become volatile easily ever so often. There are robberies, pickpockets, crimes here and there. Dubai, which we entertained for a while for a short move, is safe overall, but it felt so artificial to me as a city in the midst of a desert and I was worried we’d be bored. The US seems to me overall a safe place with good civic liberties, with the exception of guns in school. No perfect answer, always imperfectly perfect😊.
Well said. Those worries you pointed out in the US and India are spot on. I intentionally did not dive into the safety concerns in India, especially for women, because it is a loaded topic. Need to write about it someday. Yes, the artificiality of Dubai - so true - my wife and I are thinking about where we could move to be closer to our friends and family, maybe just for a short stint... but there are many aspects of Dubai including traffic that I am not too crazy about. Yup, imperfectly perfect is the life we lead. :-)
Thought provoking post Raj. Freedom grants power in the hands of citizens. Responsible usage of power is necessary. But human nature is unpredictable. Eg. Freedom to hold a gun does not equal freedom to fire it at anyone. Freedom of speech does not mean repeated personal demeaning insults. Hence, restrictions should be enforced but they must be reviewed periodically with changing times. In the same way, severity of punishments must also be assessed and catered to the degree of crime. A thief who steals food to fill his hunger is different from a stock market scamster who steals money to satisfy greed.